this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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