Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I want to be your penis for a week.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
