I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
