if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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