Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
