My liver just broke up with me...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
