ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
