shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
