just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
