I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
vagina is talking i cant
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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