the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think people are normalizing furries
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
