I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think a kid would responsible me up
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
