love makes seman taste better
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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