I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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