I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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