I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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