She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
