I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize