thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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