i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
