Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
