I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
