You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
