Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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