Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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