The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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