Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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