This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
