Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
