You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
