I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
