So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
