What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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