i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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