Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize