My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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