another moral hangover. fuck.
My hand turned me down
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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