If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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