Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
