Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize