Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
