How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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