Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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