So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
