It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
