This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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