Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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