Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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