Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
