Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
