so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
