I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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