I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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