then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
