Your mouth is God's brothel.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is Oprah even human
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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