wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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